overheard 006

At a crowded Indianapolis sushi bar, at 10:00 on Friday night...

Very chatty and sweaty 35-year-old man: "Everyone! I have something personal to share! I've been doing coke since 2 p.m."

overheard 005

Waffle House waitress in Nashville, Tennessee:

"Don't make me give ya the Heineken maneuver."

overheard 004

Radio DJ: Hello, Felix — you say you're asexual, you're not attracted to anyone?
Felix: Yes.
DJ: So, you've never been attracted to anyone?
Felix: Well, when I was younger I was, just to fit in.
DJ: OK, well I'm out of time. Goodnight everyone, I'll be back tomorrow, blah blah...
Song starts playing.

...Really? You're just going to leave it at that? I don't want to listen to music anymore. I want to talk to Felix.

overheard 003

inside of CVS...

55-year-old woman in sweatpants: "Have you seen a guy with one arm in here today?"
Cashier: "A guy with one arm?"
Woman: "Yeah."
Cashier: "Nope, not today. Usually see him most days. Not today though."
Woman: "OK, thanks. Bye."

overheard 002

From across the house, my brother Trey talking to his friend:

"What's going on? Who's Jon and Kate, and why is everyone talking about them separating?"

overheard 001

En route to Omaha, an angry corn-fed woman on the phone:

"I hope you didn't eat a full meal, I'm gonna be hungry."
[pause]
"I hear you chewing on something!"

no more eavesdropping in san fran

Sad day: Overheard Lines is shutting down. This blog was full of — shocker — overheard lines, collected by a cool guy named Tim and his friends. It harbored gems like this...

Half-Full, Half-Empty Girls
Girl 1: "Oh look, those people are camping!"
Girl 2: "No, they're homeless. People don't camp by the freeway."

and this...

'I'm Being A Good Friend'
Girl: "Your breath smells really bad."
Friend: (gasps with hand over mouth) "...That really hurts my feelings."
Girl: "Imagine how many people's feelings you would be hurting if I hadn't told you."

So... I took 30 seconds to mourn, and then promptly started planning a takeover. Except — fatal flaw — I don't live in San Fran, and I don't have a posse of friends contributing... YET!

For now, I'll just start posting random "overheard" hilarity as I catch it. It won't quite fill the void, but a girl's gotta try.

p.s. If you have any snippets to add, email me: dtpasquariello@yahoo.com