buy one buttcheek, get one free

How have I never heard of a Brazilian Butt Lift before?

Thankfully this coupon came in the mail yesterday. I must be on the "females with flat butts in Indianapolis" mailing list. Now I can quit doing lunges and squats at the gym and just get my own fat re-injected into my rear. Fabulous. That's not gross at all.

would the electrician please report to the sausage stand

That's a direct quote heard over the loudspeaker at the Italian Street Festival a few weeks back.

While I applaud the efforts and enthusiasm of the Italian Heritage Society, the Italian neighborhood in Indy just doesn't compare with the Little Italy of Boston or New York. I can forgive subpar gravy. I can forgive mediocre meatballs. But I cannot forgive frozen cannoli. There's no excuse for that. Ever.

Regardless, it was a lovely evening. Perfect weather and a great chance to practice picture-taking. And, it inspired me to try making my own gravy from scratch one Sunday evening. Thirty tomatoes and three hours later... phew. It's not as easy as you might think, folks, trust me. I'd give you the recipe, but you know... then I'd have to knock you off.